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ENNEAGRAM 8: THE ACTIVE CONTROLLER AND THE INNER IMPOSTOR

Updated: Sep 15, 2021


“The world is a tough and unjust place – only the strong survive. I am a rock; I must not be weak. I must be in control. Do it my way! ”


We all have that person in our life. Domineering. Strong, assertive, impatient. If you waiver, they’ll step in and take charge.


This makes them valuable in team dynamics where firm leadership is needed, but they can also be a liability when there are several leaders – they don’t always know how to step back and be led. They want to be in control at all times – not so good at letting others take the lead.


And therein lies the dichotomy for the 8. They have learned to deal with life – and pain – by exerting control wherever they can, and vulnerability is not an easy thing here. Patience is also tough, and because they are so good at what they do, they struggle to delegate and empower, as they visibly get irritated by others not performing on the same level.


How is it related to the inner impostor? I honestly reckon 8s are not driven by an inner critic – rather by an unwavering belief that they need to be strong to survive. They don’t allow any weakness internally.


The inadvertent effect, however, is that they can activate the inner impostor in others. Their ruthless and unwavering focus and strength can often show up deficiencies in those around them, and a negative spiral can be activated.


I love these people in my life, but they also challenge the hell out of me.


Next week: We round off with the Adaptive Peacemaker…

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