According to Integrative, the Competitive Achiever self-talk is:
“The world values winners. I must succeed at all costs. I must avoid failure. I am what I do – to earn my place, I must be the best at what I do.”
It, therefore, stands to reason that this individual must always be seen to succeed. Failure is not an option, and especially not being seen to fail.
It’s a riff on the 8’s “I have to win to get love”, but where it shows to inner motivation with the 8, it is very much external with the 3. They also have a tendency to be a chameleon, adapting to the situation easily to get ahead. As such, they can be experienced as fake or insincere, speaking very much to activating feedback that could stir up the inner impostor.
These folks are great in a fluid situation. They reframe easily, adapt like lightning, and are adept at putting their own emotions aside to quickly problem-solve. On the flip side, they are quite sensitive to the way others perceive them and vulnerable to negative feedback.
Their biggest stretch is to let others take the glory, and concurrently to fall on their swords when things go wrong. At its worst manifestation, a 3 will take all the credit and shift blame when things go wrong. Flipping this script is their greatest opportunity – but they need to wrestle down their inner impostor first, to let others shine.
Next week – the 4…the Intense Creative…